The Best Day

For awhile, I kept this to myself. I am not really a very emotional person and I don't cry easily but the first time I heard Taylor Swift's "The Best Day," I cried.  It was weird because I couldn't really understand who or what exactly the song was all about that time.  I listened closely and learned that it was about her mom. There's something about that song that strike a chord  with me.  It's probably the husky voice, or maybe it's the tone and the lyrics. Taylor sings about her growing up years with her mom and family and how her mother was always there through her ups and downs--cheering her on, wiping her tears away, and helping her deal with pain. It's a song about a daughter's love and devotion to her mom; and, for me, it's Taylor's most beautiful song.  Maybe it's the mother in me that reacts this way to the song or maybe it's the way the song was delivered that gets me carried away each time.  To this day, I couldn't listen to this song without my tears welling up and my throat having lumps. But it's a secret, so don't tell anyone.

I'm Sorry, Father, But I'm Pro-RH

I love listening to our young parish priest during Sunday mass.  He is truly a charismatic speaker.  His words are very inspiring and uplifting.  But there is just one thing I think that he can never persuade me to do--that is, to ditch my support for the RH bill.

I support the RH bill because is it empowering to women.  I do not think that you are killing unborn children by using artificial methods of family planning. I believe that conception starts when the sperm fertilizes the egg.  If no fertilization occurs, then no life is created.

The RH Bill is about making choices.  I choose the path where people can have better lives by having the option to limit the number of children in each family and thus control population growth.  Of course the Catholic Church argues that it is not the growth of our population which makes the country poor.  It is corruption.  Sure, corruption is one of the main reasons, but so is our burgeoning population.  Somehow, we have got to find a way to improve the lives of the Filipinos at the base of the social strata. Because most Filipinos belong to that class.

I am really sorry, Father, but you don't know how it breaks a mother's heart like mine to see those little skinny children in the streets no older than my 3-year old kid braving the rain, the scorching heat of the sun and the speeding vehicles just to beg for a coin or two.  I could not fathom how you can talk about celebrating life and condoning the use of artificial methods of birth control when you can also see how depressing life is for families living in tiny squalid quarters in areas where they are not supposed to dwell. Are you aware how many kids cannot go to school and don't have a choice in life because their parents have so many children they can barely feed them?

Oh, Father, I do not know whether I should be mad at you for being so dogmatic; or should I just understand that you and the establishment you belong to have your faith and interest to protect--as if it will crumble if the RH Bill gets ratified?

My Secret Teenage Life

Everyday, as I go to work, I look forward to being able to sit on the bus, put on my earplugs and start listening to music I downloaded myself. In one quiet corner of the bus where I sat, another world unravels. Taylor Swift music is blasting on my ears transporting me to a world I have long ago left behind. Yes, I am a fan. Her songs, which I love listening to over and over again, are about a girl's take on the whole gamut of teenage life; taking me far away from the current life I lead as a thirty-something married woman with kids. True, I am way past teenage life, but it is nice to reminisce about that wonderful time when your concerns mainly were about  friends, boyfriends, finding true love, secret loves, hanging out, doing things for the first time--that sort of things. Somehow, it refreshes my soul especially when I’m tired. Through Swift's music, I get to be young again and I get to experience things I missed out during high school--heartbreak, and boyfriends.  I didn't get to experience the angst and woes of breaking up with a boy, not even the thrill of dating and kissing on the porch or in movies, or wherever kids do such stuff, because I was a regular geeky lass whose conservative upbringing kept me from going with the flow.  One thing I have in common with Taylor, though, is that "secret love" thing. Although mine remained buried and has faded away, I kind of like to romanticize about it. It's nice to imagine that I'm the girl on the bleacher, whining about that male best friend of hers "that you belong with me", even if it's only for 2 hours till I get off the bus:-)

Just Another Leaf on a Tree

I remember a co-worker saying that his greatest fear was to die without making any mark in this world. He loathed the idea of anonymity; of being “just another leaf on a tree” which will one day fall off and join hundreds or maybe even thousands of leaves on the ground to wither and die.  

I see no wrong in passing from this life without becoming famous or in being just a leaf like a thousand others. I guess different strokes for different folks.  For me, being unknown is a bliss.  I can go wherever I want to go without fear of being noticed or mobbed.  I can do whatever I want; wear whatever pleases me without the public persecuting me for what they might consider to be a hideous dress. And if one day I fall off my perch, it wouldn’t be a concern whether many people knew me. What matters to me is that I had a full life, I was happy and loved, and was able to do what God intended for me to do here on earth.  If that is not enough, I don't know what is:-)

Venus, the Goddess of Love

     I have long ago accepted that I am not a stunning beauty.  Although, in my teen years I had wished sometimes that I was. My mom was after all a mestiza beauty in her youth. Growing up, I was surrounded by striking and drop dead gorgeous girls. My luck was that I was often close or best friends with a campus crush and the town's "It" girls.  Wherever we went, boys flocked to them like bees do so with honey. I think the only time I got to be noticed by the opposite sex was if the guy was related to my friends (like a cousin or relative) and therefore already immune to their charms. Otherwise, guys sought me out not to woe me but to ask if I could help them get a date with my pretty girlfriends.  But it was not so bad, who wouldn't like free meals, pizzas, and movies courtesy of my friends' numerous admirers? It had its downside, though, because it was disheartening at some point. Surrounded by those lovesick puppies under the spell of a friend's charms, I felt like the third wheel, a sidekick to a movie heroine.  While the boys hang on to every word  my pal said, my opinion--although it had more substance than hers, hardly mattered. I wondered then if beauty was the only thing important with boys.

A few years later, my pretty friends and I drifted apart because of different career paths and interests. During those times, I discovered that there are people and species from the opposite sex who like me for myself.  For once, it was nice to be able to express an opinion and really be heard and listened to by the guys. It was surprising because suddenly I had one or two cute admirers wherever I go, asking for my number, requesting that I go out to dinner with them. I wondered what happened? Is it because the boys have grown up or did I changed and metamorphosed into one beautiful butterfly?  Hahaha, goodness, no! It was just that I finally became my own person, confident and sure of herself. By this time, beauty to me was no longer an issue. To have features bordering on the ordinary was alright.  It has its advantages, I realized.  Like I was not most likely to get mugged or stalked  Most of all, I know that I am loved because of the person that I am and not because he is temporarily bedazzled by my looks or because I am another feather to add to his cap.   

Fast-forward to present, happily married now with kids of my own, I look back at that time in my life and laugh at the irony of it all. Beauty does have its perks, but it doesn't guarantee happiness and lifelong relationship. Being drop dead gorgeous doesn't mean you won't get your heart broken and that your man will always be faithful to you. I have friends who are stuck in unhappy marriages and relationships, in spite of their beguiling looks and bewitching smiles. Yet here I am, not really a "beauty" in the  Hollywood sense of the word; but, I get to be treated by two gorgeous boys in my life as if I were Venus, the Goddess of Love.